The Kick Scooter And The Matrix Red Pill

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Most people get up, report for work at the widget factory, go home to the dreary row house in suburbia or to the anonymous proletarian apartment, have a few beers and a fast food dinner, pay the bills, pay the taxes, sit in front of the TV for a few hours of the usual brain-numbing propaganda indoctrination from MSM, then go to bed. It doesn’t have to be that way. You could reconnect with the world around you. On a kick scooter.

You could regain consciousness with a kick scooter

I could be out there on the sidewalk waving my arms to get your attention, with a stand of demo scooters, pleading with each and every one of you to take a test ride, to taste it, to wake up to the freedom of riding a kick scooter.

But it’s hopeless. I can’t make you take the red pill. I’m Morpheus, pointing out to Neo that I can’t force you to open your eyes, and rejoin the living world. What I can do is be awake myself, and live the change in myself that I’d love to see in all of the rest of you.

On my Xootr scooter, it’s total participation in the world around me

It’s using the God-given power I have in my aging legs to propel myself along, with the fresh air in my face, absorbing and becoming part of the beauty surrounding me.

It’s exchanging waves with young men doing a drug deal in Lashbrook Park in El Monte. It’s a momentary eyeball to eyeball stare-down with a red tailed hawk taking off from a chain link fence I was passing on the Rio Hondo Trail south of Rea Park in El Monte.

It’s a homeless guy pushing an overflowing grocery cart saying “Hi, Grandpa!” to me at the Ramona Road underpass.   It’s stopping for a chat with a young man riding his unicycle on the Lario Park trail.

It’s a knowing wave from someone else who gets it, a gray-haired guy like me zipping by in the opposite direction on his roller blades south of the Santa Fe Dam.

This is what’s real!

It’s not the fear that sweeps over you when you hear the Covid-19 team tell you on TV how many dead and dying overfill refrigerated morgue trucks in New York.

It’s not your anxiety that rising oceans will inundate you next year, or that you will fry in 120° heat as Global Warming ruins everything. It’s not the fact that you’re depressed because you never did this or that in your life up to now.

What’s real, what counts, is right now!

It’s these words. It’s my lively exchange of e-mails with the witty editor of this publication. It is, I hope, that you the reader may smile as you read this. And my fondest hope is to see you on the trail on your Xootr scooter next month.

Do it! Do I have to grab you by the shoulders and shake you?  Do it! Take a chance. Stop being a mindless zombie. Come back to life! Get yourself a Xootr scooter.

Message from the editor:

Jonathan is a very talented writer that’s also a Xootr scooter expert and Brand Ambassador. We are very grateful to have him on board and encourage you to check out his other articles.

Don’t forget to check out Jonathan’s website at

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Jonathan Kelley
Jonathan Kelley, 80, was born in Boston, and educated at Exeter and Princeton, then Harvard Medical School, after a year teaching English in Cali, Colombia. He was a Navy anesthesiologist during Viet Nam. He spent the middle decades of his life working in a community hospital in Northern California. Besides his career in medicine, he’s a chef, pianist, and actor in his artistic life. In the kitchen, he specializes in croissants and cooking with coconuts. At the piano, it’s boogie woogie and Joplin rags. As an actor, he’s done fourteen seasons in a Mexican Christmas play in Los Angeles, plus the occasional movie role, as in the soon-to-be-released feature film “Amor en 266 Millas,” where he plays the hippie patriarch of a desert commune in the Antelope Valley. He has two books available on Amazon, “Counting Backwards from 100: My Life as an Anesthesiologist,” and “Short Stories by Jonathan Kelley.” Searching for improved balance and leg strength at age 77, Jonathan came by chance upon a Xootr scooter. Jonathan’s wife is the lovely Puerto Rican actress Gloria Laino. Their mix is like Puerto Rican arroz con gandules served next to New England style cranberry sauce.


  1. This guy is really good. I read this and decided to get a scooter. Then, on second thought, I have a bad knee. I support the red pill.

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