Folding Bicycle
Folding Bicycles,  Transportation

The Worst Folding Bicycle Guide You’ll Ever Read

Don’t Buy Any Folding Bicycles

Folding bicycles have come a long way since the prehistoric days of cycling. They are more durable than ever, with some people owning their folding bicycle long enough to see their kids graduate from college. Nobody wants to own a folding bicycle this long. It saves them too much money and is way too safe. Folding bicycles no longer crumble underneath you. Where’s the fun in that? We want to feel the impact of the pavement. How dare those manufacturers make folding bicycles just as safe and durable as regular bicycles.


Unfortunately, Folding Bicycles Aren’t Slow

There was a time when folding bicycles were slower than a turtle. Now, there’s a whole bunch of amazing components available. Folding bicycles now use multiple gears. High end wheels and brakes, and can even be customized. My dad owns a Dahon Speed P8, and easily reached speeds of over 20 mph. This crazy speed was reached without even using the highest gear.


Who the hell does Dahon think they are, building a high performance machine like this? And why would my dad want to ride something so superb? This folding bicycle is so awesome, that it can make a mockery out of any hybrid bicycle, even some road bikes. Wait, you mean you still want a folding bicycle?

Forget About How Light Folding Bicycles Are

Once being a heavy, clunky type of bicycle that was hard to carry, folding bicycles have dramatically become much lighter. Not only are the materials they’re made of better, the quality has increased dramatically. Folding bicycles are now made out of high quality steel, aluminum, and even carbon fiber.


Now it’s possible to bring them everywhere you go. Going on public transportation? No problem! Want to bring them into a restaurant? Piece of cake! Are you a boater? Do you fly planes? Unfortunately, you can bring them onto all these types of transportation. No more fun carrying a huge heavy lock, and the excitement of hoping your bicycle is still there when you return.

What will they think of next? Super compact folding bicycles? Oh wait! They even have those available now, with some sporting 8-inch wheels. It’s not fair to those with regular sized bicycles I say. I see you still want one though.


Unfolded A-Bike against wall at Sibley Square.
Unfolded A-Bike against wall at Sibley Square.

Folding Bicycles Are Shamefully Affordable

These days everyone seems to be riding them, with more joining in each year. Now even the major manufacturers make models to suit everyone’s budget. You’re no longer stuck with buying a cheap Folding bicycle from a company that doesn’t follow strict safety standards.


Companies such as Dahon offers models that cost just as much as a standard bicycle. Pretty soon the whole world will be taking over the roads with these folding machines, pushing the regular cyclists to also give in. This looks like an attack of the folding bicycles. Unfortunately, I tried my best to help you regular cyclists out here, but you’re apparently on the endangered species list.


You’ve Decided To Buy A Folding Bicycle

I tried everything I can to convince you to not buy a folding bicycle. Then again, I really can’t blame you. They are not only durable and fun to ride, they offer convenience that no other bicycle can offer. Plus, there’s so many affordable choices available from reputable manufacturers, you never have to worry about fitting one into your budget.


In fact, you can get rid of your regular, full-sized bike and just use the folding bicycle exclusively. Don’t tell anybody, but that’s exactly what I did, and I’ve never looked back. Just do me one huge favor. Make sure you buy from a reputable company to assure you’re getting quality and safety.



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