Andy Thousand
Urban Life

How To Move On Once The Pain Stops

As you already know, there’s been a lot of changes in my life recently. The first one would be getting out of a job that was literally killing me. For twenty years I worked this job and towards the last two years, just had nothing left to give. I gave the job my all with total commitment. As far as I’m concerned, I have nothing to be shamed of because I did my job with pure ethics and morals. What was once an enjoyable place to work became very painful to tolerate.

 

The Morning It All Ended

I remember waking up one morning just like a former co-worker did, and saying to myself, I can no longer do this. All motivation to get up and force myself to commute to work was gone. It was if someone zapped me with a Star Trek ray gun, and took every ounce of energy out of me.

 

When I told my dad all about how I had nothing left to lose and had to leave the job, all he could say was, but you decided to leave your job. It felt like he didn’t have a clue about how I was feeling and didn’t seem to care. He either didn’t see the pain I was feeling in my eyes or just doesn’t have the ability to show such an emotion.

Lost That Loving Feeling

This job once meant the world to me but the feelings I had for it deteriorated quickly recently. When it became a part-time job due to unfortunate circumstances, it wasn’t my true passion anymore. The ability to care oozed out my body like rays from the sun. The difference was that there wasn’t such a huge amount and soon got colder than the Antarctica.

 

I just didn’t care anymore. As the caring slowly faded my interest for my true passion exploded. My blog became my main focus and something that I enjoy putting my thoughts and emotions into. It became a place where I can talk about how I truly feel. To be able to talk about my daily struggles. My hopes and dreams. And something that I carry deep inside, called PAIN! One day I hope to make this my only income because I’m willing to put the time and sacrifices needed into making it successful.

 

It’s easy to start a blog, but it’s tough to create one that provides real value to readers that admire it.

 

Taking Care Of Loved Ones

I dream of the day where I can take all this built up pain inside and use it to do good. That good would be helping my loved ones out who have stood by my side when I was at my worse. There was a time when I put myself in isolation and drowned in depression. Everything in life felt hopeless leaving me to feel like my life was over. I was by no means suicidal but mentally I was already dead. It felt like I was falling into a black hole with no way to escape. And the harder I tried the more tired and useless I felt.

 

Loved Ones Stood By Me

My attitude and behavior was horrible but my loved ones stood by my side. One particular woman never abandoned me even though she could have. She knows who she is, and to her I say thank you and I love you. Because of her and a few others I have started to rise like the Phoenix with new hope that one day I can control my life completely.

 

This control would come in the form of taking care of her and keeping her safe from all the evil that exists in the world. To never have to worry about money again or where she is going to live. She will have everything that she ever dreamed of without stressing over finances or worrying about debt.

 

I’ll always be there for her just like I will for other loved ones without the worry that I’ll leave them out in the cold.

 

I’m going to take all the guilt and anger that’s been bottled up inside and use it to drive success. It’s not going to be easy because it takes a while to release years of contained pain.

 

Fighting For The Ones I Love

Instead of focusing on the pain from years of hardship and failures, I’m going to instead focus on the future. I’m going to appreciate the things that I have and the options available to improve my life for the better. It will take time but the anger that once consumed me will leave my body and leave me feeling fresh and energized.

 

I will not only fight for me but also for the ones that I love. My loved ones will come to respect and count on me, and know that I will never abandon them in time of need.

 

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Loved Ones Come Before Riches

Instead of working for riches to buy material possessions, I will work to be able to spend more time with loved ones and take care of them. It’s time to focus on the positives instead of the negatives and use that to keep creating a positive outlook for success.

 

Leaders I Admire

While I was growing up there was no internet or social media sites. We couldn’t instantly connect with professionals that have the skills and credentials to help start up bloggers like me succeed.

 

Now there’s a whole world of possibilities at our finger tips and I’ve had the privilege of connecting with these amazing people. They say that when you surround yourself with positive people who are successful, you have a higher chance of succeeding yourself. This statement is very true.

 

Gifford Thomas

Leaders such as Gifford Thomas makes everyone around him feel good about themselves. The day I discovered him on LinkedIn I absolutely loved the message that he was sending out.

 

Every day, Gifford Thomas will put out a quote by a famous leader who has inspired thousands to seek and accomplish their own goals. Or Gifford will write something inspirational himself that teaches us that we can accomplish our goals no matter how difficult they may seem.

 

Gifford Thomas Proves That Anything Is Possible

Gifford Thomas makes me feel like anything is possible if you put your mind to it, and don’t ever give up. There’s been many times when I’ve wanted to give up on my blog, but then I picture Gifford Thomas standing there beside me. While standing beside me, he leans over and says let me tell you a little secret. He tells me that every single person who’s become successful has felt the very same way. Success is like being out in a boat in the middle of the ocean. When the waves are calm the cruise is fun and relaxing, but when the waves get huge due to storms, hold on tight. If you ride out the storm you will eventually get back to calm seas.

 

Gifford Thomas has been a huge positive influence in my life and someone who I admire greatly. Then again he’s a very accomplished individual who has achieved a great deal. Gifford Thomas is a very positive leader and award-winning author. I highly recommend you to check his Blog out but I have to warn you. Once you do your life will be changed in a positive way forever, just like mine was.

 

Brigette Hyacinth

Another great leader and that I absolutely admire and look up to is Brigette Hyacinth. One my post Writing The Next Chapter Of My Life, I mentioned how she is an awesome business leader, motivator and speaker. She’s been in the corporate world and has seen the good, the bad and the very ugly. Every time I read something that she writes I can’t help but think of this famous Rocky quote.

 

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that. – Rocky Balboa

Turning Pain Into Positives

I should hang this quote on my bathroom mirror and read it every day before I start my day. It’s not only very positive and influential, but reminds me that we can get through tough times. All we have to do is keep getting up every time we fail.

 

Even the most successful people have failed. The difference between them and the losers is that they kept getting up and not staying down.

 

While all this talk of inner pain might sound depressing, its my way of reminding you that how we handle all this pain is what makes all the difference in how our lives end up. As I’ve said before, our lives are like a blank book that we write in as we ago along.

 

The Benefits Of Travel

I’m going to keep working on my goals and passions. And even start traveling more, something that I truly love to do.

 

Every time I Travel I tend to meet very interesting people, just like the last time I went to Suffern, New York. It was an amazing time and I got to spend time with my favorite person in the world. I love her with all my heart.

 

I had an incredible time, and even got to create a series of unique posts about my travels to this unique little town, along with the lessons I learned along the way.

 

Rocky Trifari

Maybe one day I’ll be able to post about some incredible journeys like Rocky Trifari does on Therockysafari.com. A few months back I discovered this phenomenal blog while researching how to grow a successful blog. I was immediately impressed with his writing and design, and have been a loyal follower ever since. His writing is fun and entertaining and keeps me going back to read more about his exciting adventures.  Plus he’s got a great eye for photography. Hopefully one day I’ll get to the same level.

 

Jon Morrow

Another great writer and success story despite many hardships, is Jon Morrow. This guy is simply amazing and has overcome many obstacles in his life. Jon Morrow is not only an incredible writer he’s also a phenomenal online marketer and CEO of his own company.

 

John has even created courses to help you become better at writing blog posts. If this guys story doesn’t convince you that anything is possible, then you better check your pulse. Read this clip I posted from his About page on his website Smartblogger.com and you’ll understand why I admire him so much. This guy is definitely the best in the business.

 

Jon Morrow’s Amazing Life Story

The doctor cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, but I have bad news.”

He paused, looking down at the floor. He looked back up at her. He started to say something and then stopped, looking back down at the floor.

That’s when Pat began to cry.

She’d argued with herself about even coming to the doctor’s office. Her baby was a year old, and he hadn’t started crawling yet. He tried, yes, dragging his legs behind him as he struggled to make it just a few feet on the floor, but it didn’t look right. Everyone told her that she was worrying over nothing, and maybe she was, but she told herself that she would take him to the doctor, just to be safe . . .

“Your son has a neuromuscular disorder called Spinal Muscular Atrophy,” the doctor said. “It’s a form of muscular dystrophy that primarily affects children.”

Pat was speechless. Everyone had told her she was silly. She had hoped she was wrong, prayed she was wrong, but still . . . she knew.

“What’s going to happen to him?” she managed to say.

“Where most children grow stronger as they get older, your son is going to get weaker. He’ll lose the ability to move. He’ll lose the ability to breathe on his own. And one day, he’ll catch an infection that will spread into his respiratory system, giving him severe pneumonia . . .”

She held up her hand to stop him. “You’re saying he is going to die?”

He nodded. “There are three types of SMA. Caught this early, your son almost certainly has Type I. Most children with Type I die of pneumonia before the age of two.” He paused. “I’m sorry.”

Pat looked up into his face and saw that he really was sorry. It made her angry. Not because of his pity, but because in this man’s eyes, her baby was already dead.

“Don’t be sorry,” Pat said, wiping tears away from her face. Her voice was suddenly very calm.”He isn’t going to die.”

“It’s important you understand the situation, Mrs. Morrow. The pneumonia . . . he won’t be able to fight it.”

“He won’t have to,” she said. “I’ll fight it for him.”

The miracle of mothers

Over the next 16 years, I had pneumonia 16 times. But I never died. It sounds strange to say it, but my mother wouldn’t let it happen.

She orchestrated a team of more than a dozen doctors. She slept in a chair beside me in the hospital, sometimes for as many as 30 days in a row. She pounded my chest and back every two hours to loosen the mucus, covering my chest and back with bruises.

Today, at 27 years old, I’m one of the oldest people in the world with my type of SMA, and people tell me it’s a miracle. And I agree, it is. But the miracle isn’t just me. It’s a mother who fought like only a mother can to keep me alive.

By “alive,” I don’t mean just “not dead,” either. You’d think my mother would have been satisfied for me to live at home, tucked away from the world where she could protect me, but for her, that wasn’t living. She insisted that I be great.

When my elementary school principal decided that disabled children didn’t have a place in her school, my mom appealed to the school board and turned every board member’s life into a living hell for two years.

She won.

When I wanted to play basketball, she forced an astounded coach to reinvent the rules of the game so that I could be the “ball carrier” for the team, and no one could take the ball away. Not surprisingly, everyone wanted me on their team.

When I could no longer pick up a pencil, she arranged for honors students at local colleges to help me with my homework after school. I graduated at the age of 16, not only near the top of my class, but with college credit.

If you’re a mother, none of these things surprise you. Some mothers are weak, sure, but the vast majority fight for their children, especially when those children are defenseless. It’s not because they’re trying to be heroes. It’s because that’s their job.

And I think we can learn something from them. Not to minimize what mothers do, but I’ve come to believe that our job as writers is not all that different.

Fighting for your ideas

Growing up, I always had to fight to get people to listen to me.

The worst part about being disabled isn’t the pain or the struggle but how the world tries to shove you into a corner and pretend that you don’t exist. After all, what could you possibly have to contribute? You’re going to die soon, poor thing. Here’s a nice, quiet room and some morphine to ease the pain.

They don’t proactively hold you back, no, but they don’t expect you to succeed either. I’ve spent my entire life fighting against the weight of those expectations.

Like when university professors were flabbergasted when, on the first day, I asked my attendant to raise his hand, so I could answer the question that no one else could.

Or the vaguely constipated look on the face of a venture capitalist when I asked for $500,000 of startup capital for my first software company.

Or the disbelieving stares of people at a real estate conference when I gave a talk about buying million-dollar homes without even being able to get up the stairs to see the inside of them.

Their disbelief has never stopped me, of course. It’s not a matter of persistence or strength or attitude, as some people think. It’s a matter of shame.

How could I possibly look my mother and father and all of the others who have sacrificed so much for me in the eye and tell them, “I can’t?” I couldn’t bear it. The shame of dishonoring their sacrifice by giving up would poison my soul.

And so I fight

If my mother could ignore a doctor who would condemn me to death, then I can ignore my inner demons who tell me I’ll never make it as a writer.

If my mother could demand that I achieve straight As in school, then I can demand greatness from every blog post I publish.

If my mother could lobby school administrators and government agencies to get me the help I needed, then I can lobby bloggers and social media power users to get my idea the attention it deserves.

Not to imply that I’m unique, because I’m not. Yes, I’ve had to overcome a lot of adversity, but so does every creative person who wants their ideas to see the light of day.

If you want to succeed, you can’t wait for the world to give you attention the way a cripple waits for food stamps to arrive in the mail. You have to be a warrior. You have to attack with the madness of a mother whose child is surrounded by an army of predators.

Because, let’s face it, your ideas are your children. Their future is as tender and delicate as that of any newborn.

You can’t just write them down and expect them to succeed. Writing isn’t about putting words on the page, any more than being a parent is about the act of conception. It’s about breathing life into something and then working to make sure that life becomes something beautiful.

That means spending ten hours on a post, instead of 30 minutes.

That means writing a guest post every week, instead of one every few months.

That means asking for links without any shame or reservation, not because you lack humility, but because you know down to the depths of your soul that what you’ve done is good.

You have to realize that your blog is more than just a collection of ones and zeros floating through cyberspace. It’s more than the words on the page. Your blog is a launchpad for your ideas, and you are the rocket fuel that lifts them off the ground.

So burn it up, baby.

Your ideas are counting on you.

Time To Move Past The Pain

Every time I read this guys life story, I forget about my own problems and it motivates me to work even harder.

 

It reminds me that there’s others who are in worse situations than myself. I realize that I need to be grateful for what I’ve got. By being grateful,  it motivates me to put myself in a position to help others who are in desperate need, just like I use to be.

 

Former Co-Worker Becomes Great Friend

Me and a former coworker had this very same discussion not too long ago when I visited him briefly on his job. He said that just like me he woke up one morning and realized he just couldn’t do it anymore. After four years of hell, it finally broke him. The thing that made me feel better though was the smile he had on his face. I was super happy to see that’s he’s feeling and doing better.

 

We reminiscenced about the good times and bad times while working together. And how we both felt the same about the work situation at the time.

 

When I saw the smile on his face and the more positive attitude he had, I knew that we both have begun our long journey to healing.

 

Let’s Have A Little Recap Here

  • It all ended one morning.
  • Lost all love for the job.
  • Loved one stuck by me.
  • Will take care of loved ones.
  • My blog is my true passion.
  • Positive people motivate us.
  • Turn pain into positives.
  • Learn from the best.
  • Do what makes you happy such as traveling.
  • Spend more time with loved ones.
  • Take time for healing.
  • Never give up.

Check Out These Other Great Posts Before You Leave

Do You Have Any Pain Of Your Own? Let Me Know….

 

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